Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize