do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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