Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
