erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
