I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize