It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
