I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
