i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
