I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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