On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
