Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
