a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
