Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Enjoy the penises
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
