Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize