im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
