You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
