Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
