And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
