I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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