OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
