No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
