I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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