why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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