i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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