Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize