I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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