her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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