YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize