Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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