quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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