worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
