how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
