Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
