my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
