New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
