Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
