we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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