No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My liver just had a heart attack.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize