He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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