once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
