I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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