One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
