Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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