my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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