love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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