i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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