there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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