I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
