She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Your penis caused this!
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