Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize