Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
