I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
