but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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