You're completely useless in the revolution.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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