You made me cry and you don't even care
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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