Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He did a backflip because drugs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
