and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
