I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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