your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
