i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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