Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
