You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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