is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
