can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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